“Adulting” means Sometimes You’ll Go Ghost!

News flash…I haven’t been writing blogs lately and I’m actually ok with it. When I started Nomade En Noir, LLC it was out of a desire to promote black destinations and cultural/immersive travel in those places. In the few years I started blogging so many people of color and in general have began traveling to those very destinations.

I am so happy it’s been happening with or without my influence. Lately, I’ve been focusing on the pressing issue called ‘adulting’ and boy it’s been quite a challenge. So when we last touched based I had lost my mother, weathered a category five hurricane, and decided to stay home in St. Croix. I still travelled and played my nomadic role going to a few places in the Caribbean and North America and shared those experiences via my personal social media handle.

Well, fast forward I’m now a vegetarian and I’ve bought a home! Currently, I’m going through renovations and picking out tiles, counters, light fixtures, wall paint, and a number of other things my mind never considered being responsible for. Becoming a homeowner is one thing, but becoming a homeowner in the Caribbean is another. My partner and I are still traveling to see each other and the dogs are coming to the Caribbean soon. We are trying to support each other in our respective goals. He has a few more years in the military, moving around every few years and I wanted to be based somewhere I’d actually enjoy living. St. Croix was our compromise. A place that may eventually be our retirement spot. Buying a home made perfect sense, but dealing with everything leading up to the purchase and after has been a big learning curve. This leaves little room for posting and writing and at first it really hurt me to see Nomade En Noir lay dormant, but then after visiting friends this past fall they reassured me that I was doing the right thing. I was prioritizing my life in a way that made sense emotionally and financially. I was cutting off dead weight in unhealthy relationships with both friends and family. I was thinking of long-term investments and diversifying my portfolio.

I was growing and needed to grow without being reminded that I was in deed growing. I didn’t need to write about the experiences right there and then. No, I needed to process and reflect on my journey and to face some issues head on and allow myself the space to be hurt and happy without sharing it with the world just yet. Somewhere in all that cleansing I became a vegetarian and wholeheartedly love the feeling of the relationship that’s been growing with food. I am so much more consciousness about what I put into my body.

Blogging became therapeutic to me, then it became a chore and I hated that feeling and needed to regroup and focus on cleansing my desire to share vs. a desire to be seen. I’m truly an introvert and use my extroverted side to connect with the world on a deeper level. It’s always been my way of reassuring my commitment to humanity. I’m that person who will share a whole afternoon worth of my journey with a stranger and revel in the fact that the chances of seeing them again is slim to none. I love solitude and I’m very much so okay with this fact.

I’ve also slowed down on traveling to the places I’d want to share my experiences with for now. I’ve traveled for work or for family or for friends and not for myself. I started missing not seeing my close love ones and needed to just take them in and not make a post about it. In short, I went ghost on social media and my blog and I would encourage everyone moving into a big cleanse to do so and feel no way about it.

I wanted to just take the time in this post to share what I’ve experienced in the last few months because whether I post often or not, I do want my readers to continue to learn to be vulnerable and brave.

I didn’t just start Nomade En Noir to share my travels. I started it because deep down we all need a reason every now and then to remember to live a brave and fearless life!

3 replies
  1. Arnold Payne
    Arnold Payne says:

    Son you are so right! We all need a cleansing every so often in life. We all do have a moment where we really just take a step back and look at our life on a whole. We think back on the goals that we set for ourselves and go through that checklist to see how much of those goals did we accomplish and also look at new goals to attain. You’re right live life! There is too much shoulda, coulda, woulda! You wouldn’t know unless you try. Nothing beats a failure but a trial. We all should take risks at some point in our lives. If it doesn’t work it doesn’t work move on. Stop worrying about what other people think and feel you can’t please everyone. The one people that really matters is ourselves.

  2. D.Leak
    D.Leak says:

    Man this was a excellent read. I am happy to hear about your amazing journey. As a friend I am so proud of the growth. I also appreciate your honesty because it encourages others that it’s ok to take time to focus on self.

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